Dear friend,
You may wonder if you have made the right decision now that you see and experience slowness, inactivity and silence especially if you come from a very active and busy church life, having fun and ministry. I do not say this is wrong. However, I want to share something and I hope it can encourage you.
When Jesus said come, take up your cross and follow me, he meant it. He did not promise that our life will always be fun. Actually, he said that we need to die to ourselves everyday so we become worthy followers.
If we always run for activities, fun, fellowship and being busy in the ministry, it may not be a sign of growth. Growth is defined as change of our hearts and minds; daily transformation that is brought into us from our recognition of our sins and God's love and purpose to our lives. We go to God and confession and ask God to forgive us not primarily because we fear hell but because we hurt a good God. Growth is built daily in our prayers before we start the day, our readings that teach us about God, attending the mass as the highest form of prayer -- singing songs, hearing the gospel and homily, partaking in the Holy Eucharist and asking for the priest's blessing. When we continually connect with God, we cannot be selfish as our love for him compels us to remember others especially the least, the lost and the last. That's the time we do charity: our works for others as our love for God.
When we do little sacrifices everyday, it also lead us to Jesus. Waking up early to pray, going to mass even if it is inconvenient, not opening Facebook or social media in the morning if prayer is not done yet, helping in the house even busy, not buying things or food we like, giving alms to beggar, etc. The little sacrifices we do in life lead us closer to Jesus because as we die to ourselves we live in Christ. This is also growth.
And if you feel no one approach you after mass or no one follow up or ask you if you are okay, do not lose heart. Maybe God is training you to not desire attention or recognition and is reminding you that you come to him or to church not for attention. This is not easy especially if you come from a very homey and close church community that people shake your hands, talk with you, offer coffee or hug you. This is not wrong but we also need to remind ourselves that we need to die to our desire for attention so we can go closer to God. And if you are not really comfortable, you can start to approach people or the priest. Approach the priest just as the Canaanite woman approach Jesus to heal her demon-possessed daughter despite several rejection and proved her faith to be true and in return Jesus praised her faith and heal her daughter. If no one does it, be the one to start it.
I expect that there are homey and active communities in the Catholic church, we are yet to discover.
Search on....the following are my recommendation:
1. Read gospels and life of saints through these offline apps: iPray with the Gospel and Liturgical Calendar
2. Watch Catholic videos in Youtube and FB - Youtube: Word on Fire and Ascension Presents, FB: thought4dday and Alimusalita
3. Attend free doctrine classes and meditation on Saturdays - Opus Dei centers in Bel-air and Bagtikan
4. Read books - I have a lot here, just let me know if you want to borrow
5. Take the Sacraments especially Confession - you can go to Opus Dei priests in Bel-air (for girls) and Bagtikan (for boys) every Saturday
6. Talk with strong Catholics - your officemate or your classmate
7. Follow Catholics in twitter (I like FrGoyo)
8. Attend mass - I go to Greenbelt Chapel and San Pedro Calungsod in SM Aura
9. Read announcements in bulletin board of the chapel - there are events, seminars, pilgrimage, etc.
10. Join local pilgrimage - my first pilgrimage will be on August 24
11. Follow the following Catholics in FB/Twitter - Scott Hahn, Robert Barron, Jeff Cavins, Leah Libresco
12. Follow The Coming Home Network - this is the hub for stories of people who become Catholics
Let us begin our relationship with Jesus and he will lead us to him and others.
Praying that our desire to know and love God will be greater than our adjustments in the faith. Do not lose heart.
I have felt the emptiness as well in my 4 months. However, I prayed and asked God to increase my freedom to follow. That's why I'm still here, not losing my heart.
P.S. There will be Catholics who will become your close friends in the faith. Pray. I got mine in 3 months. We just had an Israeli dinner last night. Great night and friends.
P.S.S. I'm open to chat if you have any questions. Don't hesitate to email me at michellepalma33@gmail.com.
Praying and doing penance for you,
Mytch
Comments